I think it's important to balance the expectations society has of successful people pushing harder when things are difficult and the realization of inevitable failure while continuing to commit resources to the project.
Most things worthwhile have at least one sticking point. So we need to discourage quitting lest people assume all things should be easy.
But there are people who take it too much to heart. I think it is fine to change your mind about your personal goals, as long as no one is relying upon the completion of your efforts for their own projects. And you have to have reached the point where you set your own personal goals. So 8 year olds who want to stop taking swimming lessons probably should be pushed by parents until they reach a minimum level of competence. But there is no reason I have to keep taking yoga, especially if I substitute it with another form of exercise.
How are you supposed to know if you like something until you try it? Trying some things requires more investment of time and money than other projects, but it's not actually worse for you. If you decided you wanted to learn to like biographies (or some other kind of book you don't normally read) and you go to the library, borrow 3, can't stand them, return them unread... theoretically that's "quitting" but no one else was involved in the decision to start or end that project.
The problem is when a project is a step in a longer-term goal. Then we feel that we have given up on ourselves. Rewriting our dreams for the future is emotionally costly.
But you'll notice that we have a lot of pejorative terms for people who try things outside the ordinary. If you do something a lot of other people do, you're a "joiner" and no one likes a joiner because it's a sheeplike mentality. If you try something and don't like it, you're a "quitter". Not even good enough to be a joiner. Which doesn't make any sense since a lot of the things we try are personal preference and deciding to you don't want to follow along should make you more independent than a joiner, quitting a "being the same" should be praised by the anti-joiners, right?
So I see your endeavors to play the guitar as learning something about yourself at a relatively low expense, that gave you some connection with two friends (even if it's mostly an appreciation for their help and the ability to notice relative skill). Why wouldn't you see that as a moderate success? It doesn't do much to fulfill your dream of musical ability, but as a basic-level project, it seems like you've done quite well.
It's possible, also, that guitar isn't your instrument. I played flute for several years in school band and hated the noise it made. I didn't completely suck, but even a really excellent flautist (we heard recordings for inspiration) still sounded raucous to me. I did a lot better at piano just because I was actually willing to practice more than the minimum. But as I got older, it was just too percussive for my interest. However, now, I would really like to do about what you did to learn the guitar to learn cello. I'd like to take one lesson, see if it suits me and go from there.
One of the skills taught to older students is prioritization. You want to be able to focus on your interests and now that we're not 10 with no obligations, it takes some effort to carve out time for things we want to do as opposed to things that need doing. I don't see giving up on guitar as completely giving up on the musical interest as much as you reprioritizing your current efforts.
So. to sum up. I hear you. I don't disagree. But I'm sorry you feel badly.
no subject
Most things worthwhile have at least one sticking point. So we need to discourage quitting lest people assume all things should be easy.
But there are people who take it too much to heart. I think it is fine to change your mind about your personal goals, as long as no one is relying upon the completion of your efforts for their own projects. And you have to have reached the point where you set your own personal goals. So 8 year olds who want to stop taking swimming lessons probably should be pushed by parents until they reach a minimum level of competence. But there is no reason I have to keep taking yoga, especially if I substitute it with another form of exercise.
How are you supposed to know if you like something until you try it? Trying some things requires more investment of time and money than other projects, but it's not actually worse for you. If you decided you wanted to learn to like biographies (or some other kind of book you don't normally read) and you go to the library, borrow 3, can't stand them, return them unread... theoretically that's "quitting" but no one else was involved in the decision to start or end that project.
The problem is when a project is a step in a longer-term goal. Then we feel that we have given up on ourselves. Rewriting our dreams for the future is emotionally costly.
But you'll notice that we have a lot of pejorative terms for people who try things outside the ordinary. If you do something a lot of other people do, you're a "joiner" and no one likes a joiner because it's a sheeplike mentality. If you try something and don't like it, you're a "quitter". Not even good enough to be a joiner. Which doesn't make any sense since a lot of the things we try are personal preference and deciding to you don't want to follow along should make you more independent than a joiner, quitting a "being the same" should be praised by the anti-joiners, right?
So I see your endeavors to play the guitar as learning something about yourself at a relatively low expense, that gave you some connection with two friends (even if it's mostly an appreciation for their help and the ability to notice relative skill). Why wouldn't you see that as a moderate success? It doesn't do much to fulfill your dream of musical ability, but as a basic-level project, it seems like you've done quite well.
It's possible, also, that guitar isn't your instrument. I played flute for several years in school band and hated the noise it made. I didn't completely suck, but even a really excellent flautist (we heard recordings for inspiration) still sounded raucous to me. I did a lot better at piano just because I was actually willing to practice more than the minimum. But as I got older, it was just too percussive for my interest. However, now, I would really like to do about what you did to learn the guitar to learn cello. I'd like to take one lesson, see if it suits me and go from there.
One of the skills taught to older students is prioritization. You want to be able to focus on your interests and now that we're not 10 with no obligations, it takes some effort to carve out time for things we want to do as opposed to things that need doing. I don't see giving up on guitar as completely giving up on the musical interest as much as you reprioritizing your current efforts.
So. to sum up. I hear you. I don't disagree. But I'm sorry you feel badly.